Son of a Son of a Sinner

Thoughts of a Christian…2000 years too late

LET’S INVEST! – Be Our Guest Parody

Bon Appétit!

My dear, young investor: it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you today. And now we invite you to get ready, reserve a spot on the floor as the Stock Exchange proudly presents Your Future.

Let’s in-vest, let’s invest
Put the markets to the test
Put a tie around your neck, my friend
Now is no time to rest
Common stock, some preferred
Don’t let losses get you deterred!
You must think like a corporate raider;
Try and learn from the seasoned traders.
What to buy, what to sell
This is Wall Street, hear the bell?
And Buffett’s picks are never second best.
Open your portfolio
With shares of KO
And then invest, oui invest, let’s invest!

Citigroup, JNJ,
Wells-Fargo, and Schlumberger!
We’ll prepare and trade with flare
Stocks of a vast array
Buy Wal-Mart and Intel;
IBM and Honeywell
No one’s gloomy or complaining
They’re too busy capital gaining!
3M, Pfizer, AXP,
CAT, DuPont, and Disney
GE and Mickie D’s are two safe bets!
Go on, get off you’re ass
Trade stocks of every class
Now invest!
If you’re stressed,
Then it’s T-bills we suggest
Let’s invest, let’s invest, let’s invest!

Life is so degrading
For a trader who’s not trading
A poor soul in the hole of recession
Ah, those bullish days when they were useful
Suddenly, those bullish days are gone
Sub-prime loans are busting
And the market needs adjusting
We need capital, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the exchange
The FED acts like Swayze, lower rates and oops-a-daisy!

Let’s invest, let’s invest!
Microsoft’s what you should request
Exxon Mobil’s record profits: I must admit, I’m impressed
For computers, try HP
For nondurables, P&G
While the iPhone was debutin’
My capital gains just kept accruin’!
Google stock is piping hot
Choose a market: futures or spot
Sometimes derivatives are truly best
Companies to review
Try the Journal’s latest issue
Won’t you, our guest? (Let’s invest)
Let’s invest! (Let’s invest)

Let’s invest! Let’s invest!
Before the market reaches a crest
We’re pioneers, we’re financiers, and we’re just a bit obsessed!
We have degrees, we charge fees
For our years of expertise
Before stock values start growing
And the cash is freely flowing
Stock…by…stock!
Share by share!
‘Til you become a millionaire
Then you can retire and get some well-earned rest
So you can prop you feet up
But for now let’s read up
Let’s invest, let’s invest, let’s invest!
Please, let’s invest!!!

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