Son of a Son of a Sinner

Thoughts of a Christian…2000 years too late

CITY to GROW – Money to Blow Parody

In honor of Lake City FL’s sesquicentennial, let’s take a look back at the rich history of the “Gateway to Florida”:

Hicker than the hickest
Lake City, b_____
Comin’ to you live from…the city of
Alpata Telophka
(Alligator Town) (150)
I am on a 24-hour, sweet tea diet
With a wedge of lime
I encourage you to try it
Working Man’s combo
I always buy it,
Ken’s Bar-B-Q supply it
Man, they got a good pit

Those, who don’t know their past,
are doomed to repeat
Guess what? I know mine
so I’m gon’ walk you through
My hometown’s history
Let’s take a look, at how far we’ve come,
and I know you’ll agree
We deserve to celebrate our one-fifty.

I, I, I, I am so legit, here we go
Our town’s first inhabitants
were from the tribe of Seminole
Then came DeSoto, with his Spanish Conquistadors
Blazin’ a trail in a fruitless search for gold

Yes, they made mistakes
that we don’t ever make excuses for,
Like the three bloody conflicts
called the Seminole Wars
Chief Osceola died a defiant hero
The U.S. was forced to pay for the Grant of Arredondo

We can’t help it, and I can’t blame’em
Since we got founded, we got a City to Grow
Go get your kin, we can’t move forward
‘til we know where we been
Got a city to grow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Got a city to grow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Got a city to grow
Hicker than the hickest
Suwannee River getting’ it,
old folks, at home, just reminiscin’
Go four-wheelin’, then go bag some birds
Ole Times Country Buffett’s where we get served
We worked out; at Future we get on it
We be gainin’ mass and we surpass ‘em
McDuffie’s, take cash or check
A Yamaha or Mercury, you’ll be set
Costa lens green tint and polarized
They got all your marine sporting goods supplies
Columbia High won state back in ‘67
Born here, born a Tiger, we born to win
Fully loaded, bolt-action Remington
Camo paint, Bud Lights, my dog strapped in
Born huntin’ in my Silverado, jacked up
Can’t stop me from takin’ down 10-point bucks
We can’t help it, and I can’t blame’em
Since we got founded, we got a City to Grow
Let Olustee begin, think all the revenue it brings in
Got a city to grow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Got a city to grow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wal-Mart’s open 24 hours
Their products I devour
Ch-ch-cheap DVDs and fixtures for my shower

Get me some Fu King pork, and make it sweet and sour
Our medians are covered with many wild flowers

A Ford’s
What I drive
’77 F-150 I restored

Our town’s girls so fine they make you take a second look
And our town’s churches preach the Gospel from the Good Book
And we gon’ be alright with Berkley Gulp! on every hook
We can’t help it, and I can’t blame’em
Since we got founded, we got a City to Grow
Gettin’ on in, the Ichetucknee’s so cool on your skin
Got a city to grow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh,
Got a city to grow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Got a city to grow

(Lake City, baby)

(Just like that)

(brrr-RRAP!)

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