Son of a Son of a Sinner

Thoughts of a Christian…2000 years too late

Bye, Bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri – American Pie Parody

In light of Conan’s departure from The Tonight Show after a criminally short stint of eight months, I thought Don McLean’s ballad American Pie was an appropriate song to capture this sad moment in late night history.

Anyone who wants to perform and/or record this version, feel free. Just give Don and me some props for it. Enjoy, and KEEP COOL MY BABIES!:

Not too long ago…
I can still remember
How much Late Night used to make me smile.
And I knew if he had his chance
Conan would do the string dance
And he would make The Tonight Show worth my while.

But January made me shiver
From monologues, blogs, and Twitter
Bad news on the internet
All that I could do was fret

Execs would give Jay a second try
And push Conan back to 12:05
But their requests were humbly denied
Then, the laughter died.

So, bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’ (like ‘pie’)
Your show made a wax Tom Cruise fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get high
Andy just wants to get high…

By viewers you’re beloved,
Even though your boss gave you the shove
If the Network tells you so?
This scandal may have taken its toll,
but Coco refused to sell his soul,
and 32 mil is quite a lot of dough.

Well, I know the future may look grim
And your show lasted 1/13th as long as According to Jim
But please don’t sing the blues
Just ask Norm for some boo-OOZE!

As a host you may be a lame duck
But NBC is run by total schmucks,
At least they still have The Office and Chuck

Their ratings to provide.

I started singin’,
“Bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’.”
Your show made a wax Tom Cruise fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get high
Andy just wants to get high…

Now for six years I thought it had been known
That Johnny’s chair would be Conan’s and his alone
And that’s how it was supposed be.
The jester gave his word to the Ginger King
In a shirt made of denim jean
And a car made in 1933,

While the King was looking down
The jester stole his late night crown
The boardroom was adjourned
The Tonight Show would be returned.
While NBC has Community and Parks
And football on Sunday, after dark,
The network has finally “jumped the shark”
Today, the laughter died.

We were singin’,
“Bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’.”
Your show made a wax Tom Cruise fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get high
Andy just wants to get high…

Hustle bustle in this late night tussle
Conan kept flexing his comedic muscle,
Ratings are high and rising fast
But nothing can please the top brass
On Conan, they would rather pass
For the boring jester from the past

Now the SoCal air was sweet perfume
The Tonight Show Band played a lively tune
Conan got up to dance,
Oh, but he never got a chance!
‘Cause the suits claimed he lacked cross-demographic appeal
And the jester just refused to yield
The Tonight Show he up and stealed
The day the laughter died.

We started singin’,
“Bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’.”
Your show made a wax Fonzie fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get high
Andy just wants to get high…

Zucker thinks he put Conan in his place
And that he’ll be easy to replace
But he needs to think again
So come on: Coco be nimble, Coco be quick
Show’em that your pale skin is thick
‘Cause no host, against you, can contend

Oh, and I as watched him on the stage
Joined by Triumph and Kenneth the Page
The crowd began to yell
And bid one final farewell
As the laughs echoed long into the night
And every sketch was served up right
Conan’s antics have been a delight
It’s been one helluva ride.

We started singin’,
“Bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’.”
Your show made a wax Tom Cruise fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get high
Andy just wants to get high…

I told a girl I need to be amused
And I asked her what show followed the news
But she just smiled and turned away.
The dust settles on this Late Night War
Much like the one from years before
Conan’s Tonight Show was lost in the fray

And in the Tweets: celebrities screamed,
The fans cried, and Labamba dreamed
The show was never broken
What was NBC smokin’?
And the three men I admire most:
Letterman, Conan, and Carson’s ghost
So long as they have a show to host
The laughs will never die.

“Bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’.”
Your show made a wax Fonzie fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get high
Andy just wants to get high…

We were singin’,
“Bye-bye, Mr. Conan O’Bri’.”
Your show made a wax Tom Cruise fly
Max and the band are drinking whiskey and rye
While Andy just wants to get, shamana- HIIIIII!!!!!

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